Here's something really crazy!
You know how there are these people who are totally ignorant and crazy.....the ones who don't know what they are talking about, the ones who think they are the best!
Well, so here goes.....
Few days back, a colleague informed me that his brother was going to Bangalore for work. He then asked me something like, "Do you need vaccines to travel to India".....i told him that i never take any vaccines to travel back home-but i kinda' knew where this was going. He then said, "I thought so too. I mean, anyway, because Bangalore apparently is a big city and so it must be fairly westernized and clean".....i gave him a look and went about my business.
and so now that his brother is in India, the dude feels the need to come to me and enlighten me with this, "Hey, my brother is now in Bangalore and you know what, they even have a 48" plasma TV in his room, its pretty impressive".....and i said, "Oh, good (with a 'so what' expression, because again i knew where this was headed to." and then he said, "No, i mean so they are actually quite advanced. They have all these things". Like he was imagining a place full of you know what.....(fill in all stereotypes).
I know you'll ask me, "so whats your problem here". So, the dude here is trying to tell me how my country and my city are so sophisticated, good enough, in a very "here's your certificate of being westernized and sophisticated" kind of way.....Hold on, please don't jump and draw your conclusions about his identity. He's just gotten his citizenship a few years ago and is from a country thats struggled rather painfully with its economy in the recent past. Its not about where you come from, its about "how you think others are no good" kind of attitude that i have problems with!
Having respect for others doesn't hurt.....
You know how there are these people who are totally ignorant and crazy.....the ones who don't know what they are talking about, the ones who think they are the best!
Well, so here goes.....
Few days back, a colleague informed me that his brother was going to Bangalore for work. He then asked me something like, "Do you need vaccines to travel to India".....i told him that i never take any vaccines to travel back home-but i kinda' knew where this was going. He then said, "I thought so too. I mean, anyway, because Bangalore apparently is a big city and so it must be fairly westernized and clean".....i gave him a look and went about my business.
and so now that his brother is in India, the dude feels the need to come to me and enlighten me with this, "Hey, my brother is now in Bangalore and you know what, they even have a 48" plasma TV in his room, its pretty impressive".....and i said, "Oh, good (with a 'so what' expression, because again i knew where this was headed to." and then he said, "No, i mean so they are actually quite advanced. They have all these things". Like he was imagining a place full of you know what.....(fill in all stereotypes).
I know you'll ask me, "so whats your problem here". So, the dude here is trying to tell me how my country and my city are so sophisticated, good enough, in a very "here's your certificate of being westernized and sophisticated" kind of way.....Hold on, please don't jump and draw your conclusions about his identity. He's just gotten his citizenship a few years ago and is from a country thats struggled rather painfully with its economy in the recent past. Its not about where you come from, its about "how you think others are no good" kind of attitude that i have problems with!
Having respect for others doesn't hurt.....
16 comments:
I think you are being a little too hard on the poor kid. His opinion of India probably has more to do with self-esteem/identity issues he has in relation to his own country, than an opinion of India. He probably remember something of his own country and thought B'lore would be similar.
sbkt, good analysis.
However, thats not the case-he's been here since he was 14-15 years old and got his citizenship a few years ago. He's from Russia originally. I didn't want to bring his nationality into it, because then people genralize things. I have many Russian friends who never talk like this. Its got nothing to do with his nationality, earstwhile and now. Both places he's lived in (Moscow and LA) are pretty good. also, his expressions and tone didn't indicate anything like that. I agree with self-esteem thing though-you put others down when you want to feel good about yourself kinda' scene. Also, i see him everyday and know what he talks, how he talks. His interaction with others is a fair indicator to tell me that he wasn't thinking about his earstwhile home country.....rather he's the kind of person who thinks he's the best and everyone else is not good enough.
BTW, he's not a kid :).
Musical,
I don't think you were being hard at all. I face this same kind of condescension all the time. It's pretty arrogant to tell an Indian that "[Indians] are actually quite advanced," as though they know more about it than you.
Ugh. sorry you had to go through that. some people just don't get it, and they think they're doing you a favor by "approving" of your culture.
Naina, i don't mean to be harsh on anyone. its his individual attitude that put me off! this just doesn't end at culture etc. people like him undermine others in multiple ways. like sbkt mentioned, it somehow stems from his inferiority complex. Yes, you are true in that such people think that others need a certificate from them!
Musical, you can never be too harsh with idiots who patronise you and where you come from. I had an asshole colleague tell me that I and ONE other Indian she knew were the ONLY smart Indians she had ever come across because....wait for this...the other Indians couldn't speak English! So this woman thinks I am smart because I can speak English!
Since when is intelligence indicated by the ability to speak English? If you ask me, the Indians who come to the US without English-language skills and make a life for themselves in an English-dominant world are very,very smart in my book.
So though I was boiling with rage, I kept calm and explained to this woman how what she said was completely unacceptable, and I was NOT flattered by her approval of me and this ONE other smart Indian she knew. No use, she said she didn't mean anything. What do you do with such stupid people?
sk, i am glad you kept your calm and explained, because just being angry really wouldn't help.
"what do you do with such stupid people"
if you have time, turn back and explain and ask them what exactly they meant! or else just laugh over their ignorance, cuz' the world is full of silly people.
I guess you know him better, so I'd leave it at that.
"BTW, he's not a kid :)."
I wonder why I assumed that. Maybe cos he sounded like one ;) .
sbkt, you got it so well-this kinda' behaviour is kiddish indeed.
i modify my statement therefore:
"BTW, he's not a kid, but sounds like one" :)).
"sbkt, you got it so well-this kinda' behaviour is kiddish indeed."
Actually I know a dude who's also from a former Soviet bloc country. He's around 20 years, and is v sure the best thing that ever happened was that his parents left their homeland and came to the US (when he was rnd 10). This makes him v sure that I must feel the same way.
He's got lots of identity issues and still too young to have sorted things out so I generally ignore his comments of this kind.
I think I subconsciously mixed the two characters up (hence the kid reference).
"This makes him v sure that I must feel the same way."
I meant, not exactly the same way-my parents are v much in India of course.
btw, he is anti-immigration and I find that kind of amusing (though he is a nice guy overall).
Hey Musical,
Thanks for your comment on my blog and my grandfather's post.
I have totally experienced that whole "you mean they have paved roads over there" bit. And sometimes I just get really sarcastic and make them have to think about what they said. Or I can say it in a nice way if I feel like explaining it to them. Either way, I get how you feel...
Meenakshi
sbkt, i guess the guy in question in the post does have some identity issues in the subconscious.....i guess its a mix of both: his attitude and his hidden complex.
Meenakshi, thanks for dropping by.
Your Grandfather's post was a great read.....it would be, anytime.
Whenever anyone says anything ignorant about India especially something about cowa, I piss them off by sending this video of bharatbala. And add how stupid and ignorant they are
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2qZEiZMgWs
They don't like to see this video, trust me.
Indian Parrot,thanks for the video. Well, Indians are aware that our country (just like any other) presents a mixed scenario. I don't mind someone talking about the cows, so long as they say it in a matter of the fact way-but problem is most people say it to make fun. Besides, as in this post, someone may try to tell a desi, look i approve that your country is becoming modern! its that kind of attitude that irritates me.
The set of people that you write about is still better than the bunch of indians who self-deprecate to gain acceptance. They crack jokes about the indian head nodding, cows and erratic traffic on the road, songs in bollywood movies etc. It is this inferiority complex that irritates me more than the ignorance/condescending mannerisms of the firangs.
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